Choose me
by momofboys
Summary: Jack and Sue struggle with their relationship. Three missing scenes from three different episodes.
1. Missing Scene from the new Mafia

Maybe he had been too harsh with her. No--no maybes--he had been too harsh with her. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with her? She had gone with Tony, and he had played chicken with her life. Why had she trusted that man? Where was the Sue he knew? The girl who could read people. The one that would rather spend time with him than anyone else. Now, he had to sit in the car with this guy, and try to put his feelings behind him. They had a case. "Focus Jack." The voice in his head spit out the words, but his heart couldn't shake the deep seeded anger--and something else.

There was not time now to examine what else might lie behind his actions--it was time to get to work. Bobby and D were leaving the house; obviously they had not gotten anywhere with Rocko. "Looks like we're up," Jack heard his own voice say even as he wondered who Tony was calling on his phone.

Without warning the explosion shook the car. As Tony shut the cell phone, everything became crystal clear for Jack. Everything about Tony was fake. He wasn't one of the good guys, looking for justice. Rather, he was a liar, hoping to get the credit of a hero by using the same tactics as those Jack was fighting against. The loathing that Jack felt for this man only intensified when he realized that Sue had been duped by his charm.

Turning back towards the Hoover building, Jack silently moved the car through traffic. His mind and heart swirling with emotions that he dared not evaluate just now. Barely allowing the car to come to a complete stop, he unbuckled his seat belt and was headed towards the bull pen, never stopping until he came to rest in his chair. If he could bury himself in paper work, he would not have to think about why his heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, or why he wanted to scream.

Before he heard her, saw her, or smelled her, he sensed her. Felt her presence move into the room. As much as he tried to keep his head buried in his paper work, he had to look up. She had stopped by Tara's desk for a moment, but her eyes moved to find his. Immediately he moved his gaze back to the file in hand. His eyes, however, never saw the words written there. Instead, the image of her face danced in front of him.

As she moved to her desk, he felt her eyes burning a hole in him. When he looked up, their eyes met. This 'thing' that was always between them---that chemistry that was so real everyone who met them could feel it---it was there again. More real now than it had ever been. She diverted her gaze for a second, but the draw was too strong. He knew the feeling--that feeling of needing one more glimpse.

This time, when they connected, he saw to her soul. Her eyes told him the story. Tony had fooled her for a little while, but she knew now. Hurt mixed with regret shown through. The desire to wrap her in his arms was almost overwhelming, but he knew he couldn't do that. However, he could tell her he was sorry. Putting aside the folder he was not reading, he started to get up, but was interrupted by D's voice. He moved his attention to the acting supervisor.

He listened as D and Tony wrapped up the details of the case, but he barely heard. His head not able to wrap around words when all he could think about was the fact that Sue was hurting, and this man in front of him was the blame. Watching Tony, he saw the man begin to walk towards him. There was absolutely nothing he wanted to say to him. If he could haul off and hit him, he thought he might feel better. Keeping his anger in check, he heard Tony's voice, "No hard feelings?" Seeing the hand that was out for him to shake, he nearly lost his ounce of self control, but he knew he had to keep it for another minute.

Standing to his feet, he refused to accept the outstretched hand. "I think you're dangerous. You risked the life of someone in this office we care about." As he spoke these words, his mind screamed at him to change that word 'we' to 'I', but he had to stay professional. "It'll take a while for us forget about that." His eyes were trained on the man who stood in front of him. Hoping to finish the conversation, he promised to investigate the bomb that had blown up Rocko's car, even as he knew that Tony would never be caught. A few more words were exchanged, but to Jack, he just wanted to be away from this man who made the bile rise in his stomach. As soon as the words, "Sometimes you just get lucky," came out of Tony's mouth, Jack knew he couldn't stand here without decking him. "Right. See ya around, Tony," he spoke the words while hoping he never saw him again.

Exiting the bull pen, he headed for his car. All he wanted to do right now was to go for a run. A long run. That was the one thing that always cleared his head. The traffic was heavy, and his concentration was off. Finally, he pulled into his own drive, and made his way to his bedroom. Pulling off the clothes he had worn to the office, he quickly replaced them with a white t-shirt and jogging pants. For a fleeting moment, he considered jogging in a different area, but he immediately changed his mind. Sue was familiar with the places he jogged, and if she wanted to talk to him, he knew where she would seek him out.

From the moment his heart began to quicken as his feet hit the ground hard, his head began to clear. As if a cloud were lifting from his brain, he began to work through his thoughts and feelings since the moment Sue had showed interest in Tony. They had been standing in the bull pen when he had seen it. The girls had been talking about him, but that had not bothered Jack so much. Not until he saw her face. That moment Tony had signed "hungry" instead of "sorry". He saw it immediately. Sue was looking at Tony with that smile. Jack had seen that smile before, usually directed his way. It felt as if a knife sliced into his heart. That was the moment that the slight unease he had around Tony had turned into something else. Something that was deeper--something even now he was not sure he wanted to identify.

His mind drifted through the events that followed. Jack knew he had crossed a line with the party issue. If it had been anyone else, he would have let it go, but it wasn't anyone. It was Sue. If anyone should be working with Sue it was him--not Tony. Then came the clincher. Sue had suggested that Tara be his date. In his mind, Jack realized it was an undercover situation. However, his heart was not collaborating with his mind at that moment. Since the moment she had started working on the team, it had always been him and Sue. They were partners. Never had he wanted it any other way. Never had he considered that she wanted it any other way. They fit together. Another knife sliced through his already wounded heart.

It seemed that his heart would never quite heal when the he realized that the reason for Sue's cheerful mood the following morning, was that she had an "unbelievable" night with Tony while he himself had spent the evening frustrated with the whole situation. Then watching while at the party, as they held hands, and moved together as if they truly were dating. Every time Jack felt as if he could breath, he would catch a glimpse of her--with Tony. Fact was, whether it had been Tony or someone else, seeing her with anyone besides himself was enough to tear his heart out.

Only one time all night did he see the Sue he cared so much about come out. Through the fish tank, their eyes had met. It was a brief moment, but in an instant all the chemistry that had made up their relationship seemed to electrify the room. He knew that the hurt he was feeling could not be disguised from Sue. She always knew what he was thinking, and he was sure this was no exception. It was not enough though. The draw of the undercover agent beside her wooed her back, leaving Jack again to deal with a broken heart.

When Lucy had called to tell him that Sue was with Tony, and then he had found her empty car, the emotions he had dealt with earlier mixed with something new. Then she had not answered his call. Fear became the overriding feeling. What if Tony led her into a situation which harmed her? Terror reined for the next hour while he awaited word. When it finally came, anger set in. An overwhelming, maddening anger that festered through the night.

Marching into the office this morning, he had allowed his anger to come out at Sue. She should have known better. She should have never gone with Tony. It was too risky. It could have gotten her killed. As he tried to control his speech, yet get across his anger, his heart hammered out the words that his lips would never speak. "You should have chosen me."

Now, as the sweat began to form on his forehead, he named the emotion that had become a part of his world this week. Jealousy. It wasn't like he had never felt it before. But never in this intensity. His world had become entwined with Sue's, so much so that he could not imagine life without her. Now he realized he never wanted to imagine life without her. He needed her as much as he needed oxygen. To consider that some guy could come and steal her away frightened him. That fear had made way for the green monster of jealousy to come live with him this week.

Suddenly, he saw her. Standing exactly where he expected her to be. Somehow he knew she would be here. Jogging up to her, he tried not to let the raw emotions show on his face. He listened as she admitted she was wrong and apologized. Every heart wrenching emotion from the week came to the surface. Then she asked him the question...was that enough, or did they need to talk more. Without considering, he threw the question back to her. Did she have something she wanted to talk about? She volleyed it back, once more asking if he needed to talk. For a micro-second, he considered telling her. But, he wouldn't. He couldn't. Instead, he asked if she was hungry. The tension was still not completely gone, not until she said it. "...I'm back." His Sue was back. With a sense of relief, he rested his hand on her back, as they moved together.

Walking towards the pizza parlor, Jack allowed his heart to name the emotion he was feeling now. The magnitude of what he felt overwhelming him. All his great plans for his life had never taken into account that this would happen. Jack Hudson looked at the woman beside him, Sue Thomas, his partner, his best friend. In an instant he knew. He loved her


	2. Missing Scene from Spy Games

_This is a missing scene (expanded scene maybe) of Spy Games. Again, if you have seen it, it is on YouTube. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy._

It had been several weeks since the days of Tony, and Sue was thankful that Jack seemed to have erased it from his mind. In fact, for the last little bit, she had found Jack more attentive than usual. It was only a couple of weeks ago that he had even 'accidentally' met her at the park after talking about 'chance encounters'. They had ended up at the movies with Ben and Amanda, and Sue had enjoyed the evening more than she had imagined she could. Jack had paid for the entire evening, and had taken a real interest in the kids. He had learned several new signs, and had definitely impressed Ben with stories of FBI raids. During the movie, Sue had caught him watching her a couple of times, which caused her heart to take a couple extra beats than were necessary. Of course, her heart had missed a couple of beats when he had accidentally placed his hand on the arm rest at the same time she did. Neither of them moved, except for his pinky looped around hers. It wasn't much, but Sue knew that for them it was a huge step forward.

The entrance of Jonathon this week had caused a few moments when she was sure Jack was fighting the same feelings he had with Tony. They had not talked about it, but she was almost sure that he had been jealous. The thought that she had fallen for Tony's lies, still made her sick. Fact was, she should have chosen Jack, no matter how smooth Tony seemed. She had not been thinking straight, and she decided she would not allow herself to do that again. Since Jonathon showed up, and showed an obvious interest in Sue, she had begun to think about many things. There was no doubt that she had an unusual connection with Jonathon, but somehow the week had served to solidify that she was not interested in a relationship with anyone else. The realization was still settling in, and had caused her to be a bit more introspective than usual. Only once before had she ever really considered where she and Jack might be going, and then Allie had come onto the scene. It had been difficult to move on, but she had managed, and the working relationship with Jack had returned to normal. The friendship that they had always shared had seemed to deepen, even as they both dated other people.

Standing here, now, in front of his desk, she tried to keep up with the conversation, but her mind was miles away. The fact that Myles was making little or no sense only magnified the problem. He was talking about his flag pole problem, and Jack was assuring her that no one really understood. However, she was sure that he had no idea that part of the reason she was missing the conversation was because her mind was on him. The fact that these feelings had resurfaced so strongly, made her wonder if they were truly meant to be. Could it be, that after working with each other for over two years, they were both ready to change their relationship? Deep in her heart, she believed she was ready, but what about him? Was it more than he wanted? How could she be sure? Her mind was still considering these thoughts when Dimitrius came through the door, followed by a dark skinned woman with long black hair.

The recognition on the woman's face was obvious. This woman, whom she soon found out was named Jessica, knew Jack. From the looks on both faces, they had obviously been more than friends. Trying to push down the feelings that were building in her heart, Sue tried to pay close attention to the conversation. Jessica was explaining that Jonathon was an SAS agent. According to her, he had gone rogue.

For the next several minutes, the team listened to Jessica, and began preparations to move Jonathon into the custody of MI-6. Several times in the dialogue, Sue tried to disregard the obvious chemistry that moved between the woman and Jack. Yet, even without their flirting, there was something that Sue was uncomfortable with about this woman. Something in her eyes. Maybe the way she moved. Sue wasn't sure exactly, but she knew this Jessica didn't add up. The gut feeling she got about people could not be explained, it was just there. The same gut that told her that Jessica was less than genuine, told her that Jonathon was not the guy they all were making him out to be. Could she be wrong?

Looking up, she found Jack looking at Jessica with that half grin. The woman stood in front of him, asking him about his abs, wanting to know if he still had a six pack. Sue had to admit, she was beautiful. From the way she moved her mouth, Sue also figured she had an accent. Sue was unsure what made accents so attractive, but hearing people seemed to be ever intrigued by them. Bobby's accent had certainly been the topic of many a woman's conversations. Apparently, Jack liked the accent...and everything else about Jessica. Squashing the emotions that were nearly overwhelming, Sue got back to work readying herself to say goodbye to her new friend-- the man whom she trusted much more than the woman who was giving them this new information about him.

In record time, the transfer was ready, and Sue stood before Jonathon. As much as she hated to see him taken off in handcuffs, there was an ounce of her that was glad this case was finished. At least now, things would return to normal. Jonathon and Jessica would go back to their lives, and maybe she could straighten out her own feelings towards Jack.

Retiring early in the evening, the exhaustion of the week seemed to almost overwhelm Sue. Yet, sleep would not come. As the clock inched towards morning, she did all she could to try to close her eyes, and clear her mind of the jumble that it had become. The case ate at her. Thoughts of Jonathon's eyes asking for her to believe him tormented her. Images of Jack smiling at Jessica mocked her. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, she fell into a fitful sleep that did not rest her.

Levi came to wake her up long before she wished, and she rolled out of bed slowly. A couple cups of coffee and a shower later, she felt reasonably ready for the day, and headed to the office with Lucy. Walking in the hall they were met by Tara with the 'scoop' on Jack and Jessica. As she explained about their "short, but intense" relationship, Sue felt a stab in her heart. It was clear that the feelings he had left behind because of distance were vying for his attention now. Walking on towards the bullpen, she forced herself to remember that the case was over, and Jessica should be hundreds of miles away by now. Maybe soon, she and Jack could return to the relationship that they had become so comfortable with, and then they could continue to explore the new level that seemed inevitable.

It took about a hundredth of a second from the time she entered the bull pen to know something was wrong. Dimitrius headed her way first, and so she took the opportunity to ask. He explained that Jonathon's transport vehicle had been in an accident and he had escaped. Immediately her head began to whirl. Did he plan it? Had he been lying all this time? Was he not who she thought he was? Had she again been led astray by a smooth talking liar? Somehow in her heart, she still believed him. Jonathon had looked into her eyes just yesterday, and what she saw was not a man that was planning to run free in a few hours. Rather, she had seen a broken man who wanted to be something more than what people were telling him that he was. That is still who she believed he was.

Looking up her eyes fell on the two forms huddled over Jack's desk. Normally, it would have been her there with Jack, but today it was Jessica, as if she had come and taken Sue's place. Feeling her heart fall she watched as Jack looked up. There eyes met, and there seemed to be a recognition. He knew he was hurting her. As if he needed to break the eye contact, he moved his gaze back to his work, even as Sue saw Jessica look at him and then at her. Pain filled her heart, and she headed to her desk. She had to find Jonathon. The need to prove he was innocent was suddenly overwhelming. It was the only way she could fight this woman who was trying to squeeze her out of Jack's life.

The rest of the week blurred together for Sue. Each moment filled with frustration as she worked around Jack rather than with him. The case came together far too slowly, and too many times Sue found herself, standing alone, in front of those who she had come to think of as family, taking sides with the 'enemy'. Since the moment she had come to work in the bullpen, Jack always stood beside her, encouraging her, believing in her. But now, she felt alone. Her hero stood with another woman, crushing her.

There were a few small moments—glimpses of the Jack she knew. The moment when Jessica yelled at her, Sue saw it—Jack started to take up for her, but was interrupted. But it was soon over with Jessica's near fainting spell. As Jack and Jessica headed towards Sammy P's, two things seemed perfectly clear to Sue. First, Jack had asked her to go, but didn't seem too upset when she declined. Second, Jessica was walking fine now, without even the hint of a problem. Calming herself, she forced herself not to think like this.

When Jonathon again made contact with her, Sue felt lost in a swirl of emotions. Hurt from seeing Jack and Jessica together made her heart raw. The adrenaline rush that had come from Jonathon grabbing her from behind was still making her shake. And then, standing in front of her teammates, feeling completely closed off made her want to run home for a good cry. Just when it seemed the evening couldn't get any worse, they found Jonathon running from the scene of a murder. As Jessica yelled at her, blaming her for the man's death, she didn't try to fight. Even Jack's reassuring words, reminding her that it was not her fault, were of no help. Fighting the tears, she wished she could bury her face in his shoulder and cry until it all went away.

After several more hours of work, the team finally retired to the hotel that Jack insisted Sue stay in. For the first time all week she and Jack were left alone. The events of the day were more than she could bear, and she was sure that at some point tonight she would break down again. She just hoped she could wait until he was gone. Everything inside of her screamed at the man in front of her, "Choose me." Yet, she stood silently as he spoke of the fact that this was not a punishment. They didn't want anything to happen to her. Angling her body slightly, she saw his eyes change.

"I don't want anything to happen to you." In an instant, those eyes told her the story she needed to hear. The tension drained away, and she stood in front of her friend, her confidant, and the man who held her heart in his hands. He knew it. She knew it. After thanking him for his concern, she walked him to the door, a slight smile seeming to freeze to her face. They said their goodnights, and she shut the door behind her. Relief washed over her, as she headed to the bathroom. That relief lasted only an instant before Jonathon stood before her, hand over her mouth, and led her from her hotel room—away from safety—away from Jack.

As the evening passed into night, the case began to clear. The pieces of the puzzle slowly fit together, and Sue's gut proved to be correct. Jack's relief that she was not harmed was tempered by the fact that Jessica had deceived him. Sue's heart broke for him, as she remembered the not too distant past when she felt the pain of deception. If she had the guts, she would have thrown her arms around him and comforted him, but it was not the time or the place, and she had no rights to the man. Instead, she did what she always did. She watched. Watched him say goodbye. Watched as he spoke to Bobby the next day. Watched as he suffered from the disappointment of realizing that what he thought he knew was merely an illusion.

She was aware of his presence as she said her goodbyes to Jonathon. The bond that had formed with Jonathon was unusual, but Sue felt nothing in the way of romance towards the man. As he kissed her on the cheek, she smiled, but deep in her heart, she wished it was Jack standing close to her, telling her the things that she had longed to see for so long. As soon as the goodbye was over, and she saw Jonathon move out of site, she turned towards the street. He moved towards her, and she was hoping that the thudding of her heart was not loud enough for him to hear.

It took all of about 30 seconds for the tension of the week to ebb away, and not much longer to be on their way to eat. Walking so closely by his side, she wondered where the next months would take her. If nothing else, this case had taught her some important lessons. More than anything she knew she needed Jack. Living without him would be the equivalent of living without a heart. It was impossible.

As they ate in silence, she tried to keep her eyes diverted from his; because she was sure he could see what she was thinking. When his hand came to rest on hers, she looked up, meeting the chocolate depths she had tried to avoid. His hand stayed on hers as he spoke. "Sue, I'm sorry. You deserve more than what I gave you this week. I should have stood beside you, believed in you. You knew the truth all along, and instead of listening, I let old feelings get in the way. Of all the people I know, you are the person I can trust with my life. I was wrong about Jessica, but I know I am not wrong about you. You have worked hard, earned everyone's respect. I didn't show you that respect this week. I am sorry."

The tears that had been bottled up began to spill from her eyes, and he moved around to sit next to her. Without a moment's hesitation, his arms were around her. Being held by him, she felt complete. Tears slipped from her eyes, but her heart felt lighter than it had in quite a few days. They spent the majority of the evening together with no talk of the case or what had happened in the week. As Jack walked her home later that night, he turned to her and asked a question that surprised her. "How do you know when someone is right, Sue? How do you know when you are right about someone?"

"You might need to ask someone else. Remember, I fell for Tony's lies." The guilt still surfacing for ever believing him made her nearly cry again. In that moment, Jack's gloved hand touched her chin, lifting her head slightly.

"Tony gets paid to lie. But 9 times out of 10 you are right about people. Look at this week. You were right about Jonathon." Pausing briefly, something flashed in his eyes, but she could not identify it. "You never did like Jessica, did you?"

A blush tinted her cheeks, but she kept eye contact with Jack. "Things about her didn't make sense Jack. For instance, she never spoke to or saw Jonathon before his transfer. If he had been our agent, you would have been in there." Her heart raced, as she tried to consider her next words. "There were other things that bothered me, but that wasn't really why I didn't like her, Jack."

Understanding showed in Jack's eyes. His hand found hers, and squeezed lightly. "Maybe the same reason I didn't like Tony."

Her voice was soft, as she watched the emotions in Jack's eyes. "Yeah, maybe." Several moments passed in silence, her hand still resting in his.

By the time they stood in front of Sue's door, a light snow had begun to fall. "Guess I should get home before it starts getting bad." He motioned to the cloudy sky.

"Guess so. Thanks for the evening. It was nice."

"Yeah, it was." He smiled slightly. "Night Sue."

"Night." With that, Sue turned away, and walked into her building, fighting the urge to turn and beg him to hold her. One thing was clear to her. Jack Hudson was the only man she would ever love.


	3. Missing scene from Ending and Beginnings

_Here is the last missing scene in this story. As it says, it is from "Ending and Beginnings". As before, if you haven't seen it, it is on YouTube. Hope you enjoy!_

"Uh...If everyone has a minute, there's something I need to say." Her voice reached his ears, and the knot in his stomach tightened. It had been a bad week. His computer had been hacked, his identity stolen, and his heart ripped out. Oh sure, she hadn't said she was going--yet. But how could she turn down a job offer like that? It would be crazy. "This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make." Even as she spoke the words, he knew what she was getting ready to say. Every fiber of his being told him to bolt out of the room. He couldn't listen, but he had no choice. "But I've taken the job in New York." Her eyes looked towards him as she spoke these words. How he wished she wouldn't look at him. This woman who had a knack for seeing straight to his heart. "I'll be leaving as soon as they cut my orders." Diverting his eyes every time she met them, he tried desperately to think straight. The news nearly suffocated him. His heart beat out of rhythm, as he tried to work his brain around the idea that he would no longer be working with Sue. His Sue.

Trying to keep her mind on what she was saying, and not on the overwhelming sadness she was feeling, she went on to express her gratitude for those she worked with. Every time her eyes made contact with Jack, he would look away. Didn't he understand how she needed him to support her. Nothing mattered more in her life than his opinion. It was Jack that gave her the opportunity to be there--to have this moment. But what was this moment? She should feel excited--even elated. Instead she felt like her heart was being torn out. Those brown eyes that had always given her strength, were now seeking to avoid her, and she found no other eyes in the room that could give her what his always had.

Jack watched as Sue looked at Lucy, and he realized how hard it must be for her too. Yet, Lucy had at least been informed. Sue hadn't even spoken to him about it. He watched as others in the room offered their congratulations, and then moved out of the way. She was looking towards him again. His mind whirled, as he tried to think of something to say. If she could see his heart right now, which he was fighting to keep to himself, she would have seen it yelling at her, "Don't go. Choose me. Stay here. Stay with me--forever." How could he open his mouth without those words slipping out? Fortunately, Lucy interrupted whatever he was about to say with information that Metro PD had a visual on the hit man's license plate. Jack was just as glad. He was unsure how long he could stand in front of her without losing it. The fact that she looked almost ready to burst into tears didn't help either. He needed to get his mind off of her and back onto work, if for no other reason than to be able to hold it together. As he got his coat, he couldn't help looking at her. Their eyes met, and held, and he wondered if his heart would beat after she was gone. For some reason, if she were not here, he was not sure he cared.

Walking out of the bull pen, she was unsure if she was happy or sad that they had been interrupted. All the feelings that had been suppressed these last three years were threatening to overflow in a show of tears which these people, save Lucy and occasionally Jack, were not normally privy to. Sue felt things deeply, but rarely showed others what she was feeling. Living with Lucy, things had slipped on occasion, and the fact that she and Jack had been so close had made it difficult to hide her true emotions from him. He had not seen her cry often, but there had been a few times. Every time he had held her, assuring her things would be ok. It was a pretty good bet that he would never truly understand what those moments had meant to her. Thinking back, she realized that those arms had given her peace and safety when no one else could. A sudden feeling of loss enveloped her as she realized that she was leaving those arms here in D.C. How could she live without feeling his embrace on those days when nothing else would calm her? Shaking her head, she realized that she needed to concentrate. They may need her assistance, and she couldn't be thinking about Jack.

It seemed surreal as he watched the gun point his way. His mind had been on nothing but Sue, and now as he looked death in the face, visions of her floated in front of his eyes. Though it took only a second, it seemed forever past before the blast of the gun met his ears. He waited for the pain, but it never came. Then, as if in slow motion, he watched the gunman fall dead on the street. In a blast of reality, it hit him. Never before had his feelings got in the way of his ability to do his job. Yet, here, now, he had not been able to think. Seeing her walking towards him, a look of concern on her face, his breath caught in his throat. What if....? The near death experience suddenly overwhelmed him, as he realized that just like that he could have been gone, and he would never have been able to see her again this side of eternity. "I never even got my gun up." He heard his own voice speaking. "He had me." Though he knew she knew all this already, he needed to tell her. Fear, sadness and loss played with his heart.

The desire to touch him, make sure he was still there, nearly overwhelmed her, but she kept her distance. If she went to him now, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She would be in his arms, telling him she loved him, assuring him that she would never leave him. Instead, she stood her ground, looking at him, unable to move past the obvious tension that had formed between them. Forcing her mind in a different direction, she walked through her day in a daze. Much later that night, as she readied herself for bed, she allowed her heart to fully examine the events that had played out hours before. Pulling on her well-worn hockey jersey, she snuggled under her covers, and cried for what she had almost lost. The same thing she was willingly walking away from.

After three cups of coffee, Jack felt almost prepared to walk into the bullpen the following morning. Sleep had been hard to come by, and he was unsure he was ready to face the object of his dreams in the few hours he had managed to sleep. He noticed the small group huddled around talking seemed to grow quiet with his entry. "Morning. Anything new come in last night." He was surprised at how calm his voice seemed. Almost as if the weight of the world was not resting squarely on his shoulders. Tara was just finishing her sentence, which Jack was barely paying attention to, when Sue walked in the door, setting his heart in an odd rhythm. Her greeting was directed at everyone, but she was looking at him. Immediately, the concern that was so much a part of Sue, came to surface. She wanted to know if he was ok. His first thought was she was asking in regards to her leaving, but then he realized that she was talking about his brush with death. Lying, he commented that he was fine...again finding it odd that he could keep a straight face and calm voice.

"I'm glad you're still with us today." She wanted to say more, but she couldn't. His slight smile seemed almost genuine, but somehow it didn't reach his eyes. Something about his manner told her that more was going on in his heart and head than he was letting on. There was a small change in expression when he asked if she had found a place to live in New York. Wishing she could share her heart with him, she simply told him that she hadn't gotten that far yet. When he mentioned he had friends in the city who might be able to help, all she could say was, "Thanks." A moment went by, as they looked at each other, oblivious to anyone else in the room. As soon as she saw him open his mouth to speak, he stopped, pointing behind her.

The day was gone before Jack could blink, and yet while he lived it, it had seemed to drag on without reprieve. Thinking back he couldn't believe he had not made good use of the time they were alone together. Instead, he had blundered, telling her that he would see her tomorrow, and then reminding them both that he would not be saying that much longer. Now, as he lay in bed, he wondered how he would make it through another treacherous day...and yet, he never wanted the day to end. Tomorrow was all he had left now. There was no way he could take her to the airport, or help her move. And yet, deep in his heart, something was stirring. Perhaps he could see this as an opportunity. They would be in different units. Could he ask her to share a long distance relationship with him? Would she even want to? And what if she said no? Then what? Looking towards the clock, he realized that it was nearing five in the morning. He had wrestled with these questions all night, coming to only one conclusion. He had to tell her that he didn't want her to go; that he would miss her. After telling her that, maybe then he could ask if she would like to try to pursue something now that they would no longer be on the same team. Deciding that there was no longer any need to stay in bed, as he wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon, he got up, put on his jogging pants and a shirt, and spent the rest of the morning running, thinking, and dreaming.

She could feel his eyes on her through the day. Every time she looked up, she saw him move his eyes away. His speech this morning had touched her, making her glad that she had decided to stay. Truth be told, the thought of not seeing him everyday was more than she could bear. As she had considered all that she would be giving up, there was no doubt that any advancement she may make would never be satisfying if she had to leave this place--these people. Yet, somehow, as the day moved slowly by, she realized something new. Something had changed in her relationship with Jack. The moment he had told her that he didn't want her to leave, it was as if they had moved into a different dimension. It seemed suddenly absurd to even consider continuing in the same manner. Yet, how does one go about telling their best friend that they love them? It was this question that plagued her through out the day.

Exhaustion began to play havoc with Jack by the end of the day. The fact that he had no sleep the night before was causing his brain to be mush, and his eyes to slide shut every time he allowed himself to sit still for too long. For most of the morning, the sheer exhilaration that she was not leaving was enough to keep him moving, but now his body screamed for sleep. It was for this reason that he had no idea how long she had been standing in front of his desk. "When you said you were up all night, you meant it, huh." A smile played on her face causing his breath to hitch in his throat. Nodding in response to her question, he watched as she moved around to sit on the edge of his work area. "How about I take you home, and let you nap while I get some supper ready." He started to protest, but she put up her hand. "Don't even think about it. I am, at least, driving you home." Throwing up his hands in surrender, he moved to get his coat, his eyes suddenly less heavy.

They rode in silence towards his apartment. Memories were whirling around in both their minds. Nearly three years of working together had brought with it both good times and bad. Sue allowed her brain to conjure up images of moments with Jack that had kept her going. Starting at the beginning, she considered the time she had shared with him. Smiling, she considered how she must have looked that first day when she walked into his office demanding a job transfer. Images of the evening they spent in New York danced through her brain, followed by a parade of other memories. The last one nearly caused her heart to stop, and tears to spring in her eyes. Looking at him, she was glad his eyes were closed, as he realized that today could have been a goodbye of a different kind. She could still see the gun pointed at him. Still feel the terror that rose in her as she realized that he was unprepared. Guilt had tumbled through her as she realized that it might have been her fault that his reflexes were off.

Jack opened his eyes when the car stopped, and turned to look at Sue's face. From appearances, she wasn't much more rested than he was. "You don't have to make dinner. While I appreciate the offer, you look tired too." When she denied that she was the least bit tired, and insisted that she wanted to cook, he smiled, not wanting her to think that he didn't want her company. His hand found its familiar place on her back, as he led her up the sidewalk to his house. Opening the door for her, he watched as she moved towards the kitchen. Deciding that, though he was tired, he would rather spend this time with her than sleep through it, he followed her into the kitchen. A small smile formed on her face as she shooed him to the couch, and told him that she did not need any help, but that he should rest. Feeling there was no need to argue when she got this way, he let himself relax with his feet on one end of the couch and his head propped on the other end. Sleep came quickly, and as he slept he dreamt of the blond who worked quietly away in his kitchen.

Walking into the living room about an hour later, Sue was taken aback by the sight that greeted her. It was not the first time she had seen him asleep, but for some reason her heart was on edge today, and looking at him caused her heart to beat a little harder. Moving towards his still form, she knelt down beside him, putting her hand on his arm. "Jack." She tried to say his name quietly, so as not to startle him. When it did nothing to wake him, she allowed herself a liberty she would never have dared had he been awake. Leaning in close to his face, she placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth, surprised when he moved slightly.

This dream was the best he had ever had. It seemed almost real. He heard her say his name softly. Felt her hand on his arm. Feeling her presence nearing him, his heart picked up its pace when he felt her lips touch his face. Only a slight movement on his part brought their lips into contact, and he thrilled to feel her response. As his senses began to come back to him, he peeked his eyes open, and was shocked to realize that he was not dreaming. She was here, kissing him. Closing his eyes again, he let his arm move around her, and re-positioned his body slightly, trying to sit up enough to reach her better. With his movement, he felt her jerk away. Opening his eyes he saw embarrassment on her face. Her eyes moved in every direction, but refused to look at him. "I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't mean--I just came--Your food is on the table. I will leave you alone." He watched as she fumbled around, searching for her keys in her purse. Touching her hand, his heart broke for her as he saw she was near tears.

"Please don't go. Stay here and eat with me at least." His eyes seemed to plead with her, but the embarrassment of what she had done was too great. Making some excuse, she tried to move down the hall, but he followed her, grabbing her arm, and whirling her around so she could see him. "Don't go, Sue." Suddenly the words he wanted to say this morning came out in a gush. "Stay with me. I don't want to be without you. I miss you every minute we are apart. If you ever left, I would be lost. My heart wouldn't beat if you were not here. Please stay." She watched him with amazement as his body invaded her personal space. "Tell me, Sue. Was that kiss back there just an accident? Did you mean it? Because if you did, please, do it again."

He watched the emotions play on her face. Embarrassment moved aside for confusion. Then he watched as surprise covered her features. He was almost positive he saw a hint of hope, and then as he asked if she meant that kiss, he saw what he had hoped for. Love. Shyly she moved closer to him, bringing her hand to touch his face. Slowly, she inched her face closer to his, and he watched as her eyes slipped closed. As their lips came together, nothing more needed to be said. Both hearts united, both understanding that through every choice they could ever be given, this was their choice. Two individuals came together in that moment, choosing love over all else. As they parted minutes later, both their hearts resounded with the realization. "I choose you."


End file.
